When Our Fathers Fail Us

"You're bad. I hate you. I don't have to obey you!" The nine-year-old screamed at her father when he told her she couldn't wear lipstick. Her reaction wasn't really about the lipstick. A few days earlier she accidentally overheard her parents speak of his infidelity. She was crushed; her life, her illusions of a happy family were gone. Her father was supposed to be perfect. 

All heaven wept for the little girl. While mother forgave him, the nine-year-old didn't and rejected her father. She decided God had been mistaken at giving her a father that was so wicked and unfaithful to what she had wanted and needed. It wasn't fair. Daddies were supposed to be good and love mommies. So she looked for a new one. A better father.

As the girl grew older she began looking around for other "father" figures to work out her pain. And she went from boy to boy and later, man to man. Her choices for a father figure never quite turned out the way she had wanted. Her choice for a good man was just as flawed as God's. 

_________________

The twenty-four-year-old dad kicked his three-year-old son sitting on the floor playing legos. He had never done such a ghastly thing before. 

He had been without work for weeks and bills were closing in on him. He felt like a failure and he was angry with himself. When he walked in and stepped on a lego, he painfully kicked the lego out of the way with frustrated fury and then kicked his son out of the way. He didn't mean to do it so hard. He just meant to push his boy out of his path. But his anger got the best of him. 

His wife saw it. Her heart failed her. This was no longer the husband she married. Her husband's reaction was unforgivable and no kind God would expect her to live with a monster like that. She took the boy and left. 

All heaven wept for this wife and son. The boy grew up without his father. He looked for other father figures but none turned out to fill the need he had for his own father. 

___________________

All heaven weeps for the sins of the fathers. Their sins impact a family like no other. Poverty is rampant where fathers fail. Sexual morality crashes among young people where fathers fail. Where dads fail, a broken home often follows with ripples into the next generations.  And divorce is disastrous on families and on all the little, precious souls that grow up inside what was supposed to be the safe haven of home.

All heaven weeps when fathers fail. 

And yet God doesn't take away the father's roll of priest and head of the home because fathers fail. God's chosen authorities are never perfect. But God doesn't take away their position because wives and children hate them, were betrayed by them, were wounded by them. 

A God who would force a family to stay with a father who fails them seems like an unreasonable, sadistic God, doesn't He? No child should have to remain under such a tyrant father who makes mistakes, right?

I am not sure. I will not write for all circumstances, but I would like women and children to consider this: 

What has our culture come to because our families have not stayed in and fought for marriage and family? What does our culture look like because it has not remained faithful to a failing dad who may want to be better but not sure what a good father looks like or needs our support in becoming a good man? 

In most situations, the father needs redemption, not abandonment. We too quickly give up. (Please don't tell me about your neighbor who was beaten to death or your friend who has a crack-addicted husband, I am not talking about that. I am talking about the Christian man who falls. I am not advocating staying in a dangerous situation.)

Because of sin, we all fall. But when the authority falls, it usually has a catastrophic ripple that takes out the wife and kids like an earthquake. And when the authority falls, there is generally a huge undertaking of clean up and repair. It takes years for wounds to heal and trust to be restored. 

But carefully weigh the results of a fatherless home. In most circumstances, God is calling us to a supernatural gift of forgiveness. It may rip your heart out, but genuine forgiveness contains most of the wound to yourself and minimizes it upon your children. Divorce can cause the wounds to multiply exponentially to all involved and even the next couple generations.

Watching the effects of his failure upon his family is a purgatory for men of God. Leaving a husband and father because of a sin--even a big one--often blinds the man to the extreme hurt he caused and can even create victimhood. The process of forgiveness and reconciliation can bring enormous fruits of maturity to families. It can even break the slavery of addictions in some cases. 

Sticking together through even the most thick of disasters caused by the father, sends families through the fires of holiness and saints can emerge. But only God can do it. Hold fast to Him and all things are possible. 

So now to the point of this:

This same challenge is given for God's spiritual authorities. Jesus told His followers, 

"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit on Moses seat, so you must obey them and everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach." Matt. 23: 1-3

Christians often pass by the first part of this statement ready to condemn Israel's leaders, with Christ, as the hypocrites they are. As tempting as it is to get all worked up in the righteous anger of Christ as He rightly calls them blind fools, we forget that we must obey them. Yes! Jesus knows how rotten they are shutting the kingdom up to those trying to get in and making converts twice the sons of hell the Pharisees are. That is very condemning language.

And yet, we are to obey them. They seriously wounded the family and devastated the hearts of the innocent ones. It makes my blood boil to think of it. Aren't we supposed to overthrow tyrants?! Isn't the greatest cry of earth "freedom!" from these thoroughly corrupted leaders? 

God's Part

Jesus says we are to obey His appointed leaders. He is going to take care of them, that is not up to us. Vengeance is His. He is going to take care of these hypocritical, corrupted priests. He may or may not take them out of their position. He may redeem them.

Our Part

The Bible never tells anyone to break from God's authorities, even if they are not perfect. We don't abandon our dads because they fail us. Sheep do not abandon the flock in search of another shepherd when their God-appointed shepherds fail them. 

A shepherd who fails isn't necessarily a false shepherd. Peter failed. Our earthly fathers fail. 

God's church failed. And we Christians were crushed. Our illusions of a happy spiritually family were gone. We thought the Church was supposed to be perfect. We decided God had been mistaken for giving us priests that were wicked and unfaithful to what we wanted and desired. It wasn't fair. 

The Perfect Church

Some Christians claimed the real church couldn't fail, so they looked for a new one with a better father. And see the results of this search for our own spiritual authorities? 

We no longer care who is a false shepherd or a true one a long as we like the person and as long as the person doesn't disappoint us. And when they do, as they always will, we either learn to forgive or start the whole process over again of finding the perfect church.

This isn't the family got placed us in. As Christians, we are not at liberty to pick out our own spiritual authorities anymore than our biological fathers. 

Sin has challenged our spiritual family, absolutely. When our priests and bishops fail us, forgiveness and reconciliation puts us through the holy fires of purgatory till we come out as saints. And through our personal sacrifice of forgiveness we minimize the damage to our spiritual children. 

Sounds hard? No, actually sounds impossible. But God calls us to pray for the grace that gives us the courage to faithfully walk through the fires of the miraculous. 

God calls us to the miraculous duty of forgiveness and healing. And often, miraculously our fathers are given supernatural courage to become the men of God the position is calling them to. 

Miracles happen. I've seen them.

A Church Full of Hypocrites

"There is a huge difference in a church that is full of hypocrites and a church that is full of heretics. A church full of hypocrites is one that teaches truth and the believers fail to live up to the truth they believe. A church full of heretics do not teach the truth but lies. 

Although a church full of heretics looks very nice and is full of tolerance, I would rather be among hypocrites that tell me the truth." Teresa Beem

My notes on the exchange between Al Kresta and his guest Scott Hahn:

The “New Testament” found in scripture doesn’t refer to a collection of books. (Late second-century Bishop Ireneaus was the first to use the New Testament as a collection of writings. It wasn’t common until the end of the 4th century.)

Up until that time the “new covenant” or the “new testament” was used by the early Christians for the Eucharist or Lamb’s supper.  The New Testament was the giving of the divine life, through the Son of God offered to us on Calvary in the mass sacrifice.

The books came to be known as the New Testament only because they were used during the mass--they were what was being read from during the sacrifice. So Christians began to call them New Testament readings, which eventually the books took on the name of the sacrifice. The books that told of this New Covenant with God and man, in Christ’s blood, were read in mass and eventually took on the mass’ name.

Never does the New Testament call itself the New Testament. That name is a Christian tradition. Let’s see what the Bible refers to when it records the meaning of the New Testament:

The Cup of Blood at Christ’s Passover 

The only time that Jesus ever used the working “New Testament” was in context of the sacrifice and the cup of the Passover celebration.

For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins. Matt. 26:28, See also Mark 14:24, Luke 22:20

After the same manner also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me. I Cor. 11:25 (written c. AD 50’s. Earliest reference to “New Testament.”)

New Testament as Will (not as book)

Who also hath made us fit ministers of the new testament, not in the letter but in the spirit. 2 Cor. 3:6

I will perfect, unto the house of Israel and unto the house of Judah, a new testament: Heb. 8:8

Christ’s Atonement and Shedding of Blood 

And for this cause he is the mediator of the new testament, that by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions...Heb. 9:15

And to Jesus the mediator of the new testament, and to the sprinkling of blood which speaketh better than that of Abel. Heb. 12:24

When the Apostles proclaimed the New Covenant/Testament gospel to the world and people accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior, they didn’t read the New Testament. He didn’t say to write this in remembrance of me. Jesus told them to do the New Covenant in remembrance of me.

This cup is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me. I Cor. 11:25

The Bible, on its own terms, refers to the New Testament as a sacrament long before it became a document. The New Testament Bible really points to the Lord’s Supper.

IS CHRISTIAN AUTHORITY REALLY BASED ON ANY SOLA?

Catholic: Is the Word of the Father authoritative to the Christian?

Protestant: Of course.

Catholic:  Is the Word of the Jesus authoritative to the Christian?

Protestant: Yes. Both the Father and the Son are God. They are both authoritative.

Catholic: Is the Word of the Holy Spirit authoritative to the Christian?

Protestant: Yes, Christians believe in the Trinity, three persons in one God. They are all authoritative.

Catholic: What if I were to say to you, “My authority is Pater Solus or a Father alone. I don’t go to Jesus or the Spirit. I go straight to the Father. He is my final authority and I check out all that Jesus says or the Spirit says through the Father.” What would you say?

Protestant: I don’t understand the point. Jesus and the Father are one so they are not going to disagree. 

Catholic: But if they do disagree. I’m not going to Jesus, I am going to the Father. 

Protestant: What are you saying? That the Father and Son might disagree?

Catholic: No.The Trinity is our authority. There is no conflicts between them. Even though there are three final authorities, no Christian would see a problem with this.

Protestant: So?

Catholic: So, like the Trinity itself being our final authority, Christians also have three voices or sources of the Word of God that are authoritative: The Bible, Tradition and the Magisterium. All three of these are the Word of God revealed to us. The Bible is the written word, the Tradition is the oral word and the Magisterium is the living word. So, the earthly authority reflects the heavenly authority. It is three working in unison rather than any one or “sola” authority. 

The Dark Ages? Hardly-- They were the LIGHT Ages

CATHOLICS! BE ANNOYING!

Preach it MICHAEL!!

EWTN Question to Father Pacwa by Yours Truly....

My husband and I just took a pilgrimage to EWTN and were in the audience for the live television shows:

ETWN LIVE with Father Mitch Pacwa




AND Threshold of Hope also with Father Pacwa:



The reason for this blog is to give my perspective on the question I asked Father Mitch and his guest in the first video. I asked the second question (and the close up wasn't flattering.... I don't look like that in real life....smile....); my question is around the forty minute mark, but the full video is so good I hate for you to fast forward.

The question I asked was for my friend Ricky (currently in RCIA), "If Christ is truly present in the Eucharist why aren't Catholics more Christ-like?"

Since they didn't have time to ponder their answers, I think they answered it well enough, but I have been thinking about this since I was considering Catholicism way back in 2006 or 2007 and I want to give my personal answer to it. However, how truly Catholic my answer is, I just don't know.

Why Does the Eucharist Seem to be Impotent in Changing Catholics Lives?

I would answer this with other questions. Why could not Jesus Christ, Immanuel (God with us) perform miracles in some towns? 

And He could do no miracle there except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. And He wondered at their unbelief. Mark 6: 5, 6

Why were not the Jews, even the Apostles themselves, instantly changed by being with Christ day by day? After all, the "real presence" of Christ was there in the flesh, in the form of a human man, daily and few were miraculously changed into saints. In fact, I don't know of any who left Christ's presence on earth who were perfected by it. Zacchaeus promised to be better, and Jesus told the harlot to go and sin no more, and perhaps they were instantaneously changed by God, but we have no record of it.  

People walked amongst Christ day by day, heard His teachings and the miracle of His real presence changed only a few, gradually.

The Real Presence Then and Now

Just as the Jews were repulsed by the idea of God giving the world His true flesh and becoming one with us as a man, so are many Christians repulsed by the idea of God giving the world His true flesh and becoming one with us in bread and wine. Both are testing miracles. 

I am not saying that one cannot be saved outside of the Catholic Church. But just as the Jews were tested by the miracle of the human Christ, Immanuel, God with us; so too are we, His followers today, tested by the miracle of the Eucharist. 

JOHN 6: 31-71

"Our fathers ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, 'He gave them bread out of heaven to eat.' " Jesus then said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread out of heaven, but it is My Father who gives you the true bread out of heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down out of heaven, and gives life to the world. Then they said to Him, "Lord, always give us this bread." Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life ..." Therefore the Jews were grumbling about Him, because He said, "I am the bread that came down out of heaven." ... "I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread which comes down out of heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down out of heaven; if anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread also which I will give for the life of the world is My flesh." Then the Jews began to argue with one another, saying, "How can this man give us His flesh to eat ?" So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in yourselves. He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For My flesh is true food, and My blood istrue drink. He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him. As the living Father sent Me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats Me, he also will live because of Me. This is the bread which came down out of heaven; not as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live forever."

" ...many of His disciples, when they heard this said, "This is a difficult statement; who can listen to it?"... As a result of this many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore. So Jesus said to the twelve, "You do not want to go away also, do you?"

Today, we as Catholics have the presence of Christ with us in the Eucharist. We can stand before God as the Apostles did. And we too can reject the living bread and withdraw from Christ and walk with Him no more, even as mass-attending Catholics. 

Christ called His disciples to "do this in remembrance of me." That means we, as we partake in the sacrament, are to bring to our hearts this precious gift and allow it to change us. We are to actively invite Christ who knocks on our door, to enter and cleanse us of all sins. Jesus says to the lukewarm Christians:

"...you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him." Revelation 3:17-20

When it comes right down to it, repenting is the biggest problem. We want faith only to believe, not faith enough to let Him in that He may rid us of our sins. We don't want to dine with Him for we are afraid of letting go of our sins. We tend to love them or at least depend on them. We cling to them and often it is very, very painful to let them go. 

The power of the Eucharist is not to magically make us hate sin, as if God is a type of Bewitched and all He does is twitch His nose and our sins are all gone. The Eucharist is a softening of our stubborn hearts, it is a gentle wooing us to love Him and let go of all things that harm us and others. This takes time, most of us, our entire lives.  So we cannot judge other Christians when they partake of the Eucharist. For receiving the True Presence is either making us more stubborn in our sins, or less. You are either drinking life or you are drinking wrath, God's immortality or God's damnation. It is either making you more clouded or Christ-like. And it is not automatic that you receive the life and immortality. That is your active choice.

This is the power of the Real Presence in the Eucharist. And always keep in mind that Protestants are watching you.....

ON BEING CATHOLIC: The Family Feud

Random thoughts about being Catholic.

I've been Catholic since Easter of 2008 and it feels like I am just Catholic and at the same time as if I've been forever Catholic. The Catholic faith is so rich that no matter how deeply you study it, there is a surprise, a wonderful joyous surprise around every corner. Which keeps the faith alive and new. And at the same time....because my husband and I study it, ponder it, daily we also feel like we know the faith better than most Catholics. When you become Catholic and submerge yourself in it, you no longer live as you did before. Your mind itself changes. Protestantism seems a distant, a very very distant memory after only five years.

It is hard being Catholic. Most Americans assume you have been deceived into a false gospel. It's hard because, in America, if you decide to kneel and take the Eucharist on the tongue or if, as a woman, I wear my head covered, then all the liberal Catholics judge us with some unchristian severity. We didn't intentionally walk into this family battle, but by choosing to kneel we unknowingly took sides and so we have had constant fire our direction. Liberal Catholics made automatic assumptions about us because we must, naturally, be SSPX-sympathizing, holocaust-denying, Latin mass pushers. No on all three. I do love Palestrina and the Litany of the Saints, but I also love all the sweet little songs we sing at the Eucharist about the bread being the body. (See I don't even know the names of them.)

I feel like wearing a t-shirt to mass that says, "Hey, I'm just happy to be here!" All this girl altar boys and when we kneel or stand....  or if we say "and with your spirit" rather than the old "and also with you" I don't get. I haven't been Catholic long enough to have an opinion. All I know is that someone told me sometime while learning Catholicism that you can stand or kneel, so I thought, "How sweet, I'd like to kneel." I didn't know I was going to be ticking off so many people each mass. (At least some people--including a priest-- have told me that I am displaying my pride and making everyone judge me.)

I also really like Michael Voris. His programming on church militant tv is outstanding. I've also learned not to say that out loud because for some reason a lot of Catholics don't like him.

And we love EWTN and when Father Pacwa said something or other about not holding hands during the "Our Father" I didn't. Again, making mass quite uncomfortable for the man next to me who kept trying to grab my hand. I'm tired of the family feud and I just and finally got to the party. And even with it all I am incredibly glad to be here. I love being Catholic. I mean.... I LOVE being Catholic.

What I realized is that when all this stuff happens in other churches and people start taking sides, the Protestant churches have an easy out. They split apart and everyone goes to church with everyone else who agrees with them. Catholics can't do that. You are made to stay and learn how to get along. And that means obedience. AND humility often accompanying some true humiliation depending about how loud you were on insisting you were right. God set up the Catholic Church to be one. Unity is hard. So, therefore being Catholic is harder than being Protestant.

So here in Catholic land, Dave Armstrong (a Catholic convert) is going to have to get along with Michael Voris (a Catholic revert). And I get to love them BOTH!! (hee hee!) There are so many wonderful people to love within Catholicism on  all sides. If I could have one wish granted. (Other than everyone being saved and peace on earth) I would wish for all people to see Catholicism through my eyes and heart.

I'm now being hit from within Catholicism and from without, from Protestants. It's worth it. Really. I've never been so targeted with people wanting to "correct" me and yet even when I am sobbing with hurt I feel a joy, a joy expanding within my soul that I cannot explain. In Catholicism there is a suffering in each joy and a joy that pervades and infuses every suffering.

As a Protestant, I knew and felt Jesus. In Catholicism He and I are becoming one. As wonderful as both are, the struggle of being Catholic makes my life an epic story. And that story looks very much like Christ's.