Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Mary and My Prayers

I will write things here on this blog that I wouldn't dare write anywhere else, because I know basically no one pays attention to this site. So it is my little echo in the void of cyberspace, glad I can write it, but glad that no one will read it.

So, this morning I am praying having been through my litany of the precious blood of Christ and all my personal ramblings and petitions to the Most Holy God and Father of the Universe, through the name of his blessed Son, Jesus Christ. When I just break down about Mary. Ever since I have become a Catholic, I go through such struggles about her, swinging back and forth between Mark Shea's idea of Our Blessed Lady of the Willies (as a new, tyro Catholic) and a proper understanding of her as we mature in our faith. Some days saying the Hail Mary seems so natural and lovely, others it just makes me tremble that I am being idolatrous.

About to say "amen" this morning, I broke down and almost cried. My whole life I have felt so guilty for thinking the most beautiful music ever written, was not for Him, but for Mary--Bach/Gounod's Ave Maria, Shubert's, Biebl's, Caccini. The most amazing, the most breathtaking and sweet music ever conceived in the hearts of man was not for my precious Savior, but His mother. As I was confessing this and feeling so sorry, a wave of peace and comfort came over me.

"Who do you think inspired those composers?" Came a still and tender thought. It dawned upon me, that Christ wrote and sings those songs to His mother and whenever I sing them, I join Him in his honoring His mother. Every time I sing a song to the Father, I join Him in honoring His Father. No wonder the are so full of tender love, Jesus is singing to His Mother, Mary.

Thank you Jesus. Now I can really cry.....