God Bless the Catholics Who Make These Commercials!

Paul Ryan's Social Policy

Are We Going Back To Eden?

As a Protestant I thought all history was heading the human race back to Eden.... perfection... the pristine and naked innocence of the garden. We are heading back to Genesis where things are simple, uncomplicated, just God and my husband and me in our own little world of fruits and waterfalls, a mossy earth to lay our heads on and perfect weather so we need no shelter.

Well.... actually...

That isn't really what the Bible describes. Revelation tells us rather than moving back into the garden we are going from Genesis to Revelation, from the alpha to the omega, from the garden to the Kingdom of Heaven.

We aren't going backwards, we are going forward.

Eden was perfect but it isn't our destiny. When God told Adam to go and subdue the earth, it was wild. It wasn't civilized. Adam was to make a kingdom. He was to bring creativity and order to the world. All the beautiful raw materials of trees, dirt, rock, marble, gemstones, animals and eventually children were given to Adam and Eve to make more than just a garden paradise but to found a civilization. They were to build, develop, create, fail and do it again until they make their kingdom.

The Genesis Theology

So often Protestants believe that, if we are to get it right, if we are to do God's will we should look to Eden or even the early church.

For those who have this Eden (or early church) theological perspective, they want all, everything we need for today somehow given in the early church. But that is not what God set up. God set up a kingdom. The early church was given the power to develop and even create. They are making and building God's Kingdom on earth. We know this kingdom started as a seed and will see its fulfillment when Christ comes again bringing the great City of Jerusalem, the Kingdom's capital.

This Genesis theology is a real problem when it comes to explaining Catholic thought to a Protestant. They want everything to be clearly seen in the seed. They think the seed is where we are supposed to be. When we speak of the development of doctrine, they look back at the earliest church and if it is not plainly written out in its full form, then somehow it is sinful. No development of Christianity, no building theology, no expanding a garden into a city.

Catholics see the truths of God's kingdom just as the kingdom itself. It started very small, with just twelve men and rapidly expanded. It was the mustard seed. It was the baby. It was the beginning, the alpha and the Genesis of truth. Perfect, simple, pristine (and a little wild and chaotic at times.)

Christ placed men in charge of this Kingdom and told His princes to go and develop, subdue and build in this Kingdom with all the raw materials He provided. Take the cedars of Lebanon and build castles, cathedrals, cottages. Take the written words of the Apostles--make a Bible. Take what you know of Christ and develop the doctrines of the nature of Christ and the Trinity. Dig deep and find the gemstones of the meaning of marriage. Drink the water and eat the bread and gain a greater understanding of the Eucharist.

Take the beauty that you have been freely given and freely make more beauty. Take the gift of sex and be fruitful and multiply! It is the same with doctrines and rites and rituals. God's kingdom is a true kingdom and we are to rule as Princes and Princesses.

His church, the Kingdom of Heaven, is given to us that we may explore and find meaning with a surprise around every corner. Our theology is also to go from Genesis to Revelation, from the garden to the shining city on a hill.

And we can only do that if it is the TRUE Kingdom, the one He promised that He would never forsake, the one He gave the keys to Peter and promised that whatever Prince Peter (the Rock) would bind and loose, God Himself would honor. And remember Christ also promised that the Gates of Hell would not prevail against Peter's kingdom. He promised as He ascended into heaven that He would be with His Apostles.... even to the end of the age. That is the age of Peter and the Apostles' kingdom. The Kingdom of Heaven. What Genesis was created for.....

Father Barron Answers Skeptics

Favorite Catholic Speaker

http://brandonvogt.com/scsm12/
_________________________
Support a Catholic Speaker Month 2012
Now this is just the beginning. Support a Catholic Speaker Month wasn't designed to just create a nice list. The real fun starts now. It's time for you, and all other Catholic bloggers, to choose one of the speakers above to profile on your own site. Anyone with a blog or website is welcome to participate, but speakers will be claimed on a first-come, first-serve basis.

When choosing your speaker, don't just rush to claim one of the "big names." Rather, consider this an opportunity to learn about someone new, and to help an unfamiliar speaker gain more exposure.
________________________

That is from Brandon Vogt's Blog.

So, I am going to take this seriously. And for my life, very, very deeply seriously.

As wonderful as so many of these brilliant and dedicated speakers are: Dr. Alice von Hildebrand, Dr. Bill Donohue, Dr. Peter Kreeft, Dr. Scott Hahn, Father Benedict Groeschel, Fr. Frank Pavone, Fr. John Riccardo, Fr. Mitch Pacwa, Fr. Robert Barron, Jimmy Akin, Karl Keating, Marcus Grodi, Msgr. Charles Pope, Patrick Madrid, Robert Sungenis, Steve Ray, Tim Staples

The person I whole-heartedly choose as Catholicism's most effective speaker is; (drum roll)

Michael Voris.

Before some of you out there roll your eyes, there is a very personal reason for me.

We had been Catholic for only a few months when a friend of ours suggested his website. As we began listening daily to his updates and the Vortex, I began to see a dramatic change in my husband. For the first time in my life, a man in my life started to show symptoms of.... well, manliness.

Michael is blunt. Michael aggressively confronts. Michael punches hard. And Michael accepts no excuses. If the sitting Pope Benedict was the JPII's pit bull, Michael is God's heavyweight champion.

And that is just what got to my husband and what gave him the courage to face some really tough things in his life. God reached out and shook him up through our angel Michael. And if I can, I am going to Michigan one day and give him a huge hug and maybe even kiss his feet. I LOVE this man, for he gave me a husband-- a real, live strong, courageous, tough and godly man.

Lots of Catholic apologists give us the blessing of truth and I am so grateful to all of them. They have given me courage and the backbone to walk with confidence as a Catholic.

But it is rare when someone's message reaches out into your living room and takes you by the throat and threatens that if you don't wake up and be a Catholic man you're going to burn. Rarely does a man stand so stubbornly and strongly without a hint of retreat or political correctness that it makes his listeners sweat.... Michael does that.

Maybe you don't need that. But my husband did and that is from his own mouth and he is as grateful to Michael as I am.

I like my husband a lot better now that he is a man of God... a manly man of God, a strong, confident, repentant, reconciled, uncompromising and full of faith man with powerful fruits of the Spirit.

If you need more of a kinder, gentler and non-offending apologist, then listen to Father Groeschel or Father Pacwa. I have been changed by their kindness and gentleness.

But if you need the power of truth, a slap-you-in-the-face wake up in your faith, watch Michael Voris.

He has a online Catholic station:

www.churchmilitant.tv

The best of the best stuff is getting a premier membership and the ten dollars a month is ridiculously cheap. I sent him a lot more each month.

THANKS MICHAEL!!

Catholic Relief Services Employee Rams Pro-lifers

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/woman-who-rammed-pro-lifers-with-car-was-employee-of-catholic-relief-servic

Woman who rammed pro-lifers with car was Catholic Relief Services employee

BY PATRICK B. CRAINE

• Tue Aug 21, 2012 16:18 EST
• Comments (96)
• Tags: Catholic Relief Services

WASHINGTON, D.C., August 21, 2012 (LifeSiteNews.com) – As Catholic Relief Services responds to criticisms over its partnerships with pro-abortion anti-poverty groups, LifeSiteNews has discovered that the aid organization also has a history of hiring employees with strong ties to pro-abortion and pro-contraception organizations.

One CRS employee lists the pro-abortion Pro-Choice Resources and Institute of Women and Ethnic Studies as former employers on her LinkedIn resume, while another was hired by the Catholic aid organization directly from the pro-abortion Population Services International.

Former CRS employee Charisse Glassman was convicted of assault after driving her car into a crowd of March for Life participants.

Another former employee was convicted of assault last fall after ramming her car into a crowd at the DC March for Life in January 2011 as the pro-lifers traversed a crosswalk.

The latter employee, Charisse Espy Glassman, was a Democrat candidate for the DC school board as well as a legislative assistant with CRS-Haiti. Despite assault charges, she remained at CRS until August 4th, 2011. In a statement on Facebook responding to queries, CRS said they had “operated on the principle that people are innocent until proven guilty.” A victim of the assault, who suffered two herniated disks, reported that Glassman had seemed to laugh as she drove into the crowd.

CRS employee Dr. Amy Ellis joined the Catholic organization in October 2011 after working three years at Population Services International, a major advocate of population control through abortion and contraception.

Ellis, CRS’ Regional Technical Advisor for Health & HIV in Asia, represented PSI even after she had started working for CRS, giving a presentation on “global contraceptive needs” at the International Conference on Family Planning in Senegal from Nov 29 – Dec 2, 2011.

In May 2012, Ellis represented CRS at the Women Deliver conference in Bangladesh, a regular gathering of pro-abortion activists focused on achieving “universal access to reproductive health.” The session she joined included a focus on “revitaliz[ing] family planning.”

Ellis also worked at the Population Council, another pro-abortion population control organization, from 2001-2002.

CLICK ‘LIKE’ IF YOU ARE PRO-LIFE! 

Daphyne Williams, who has worked for CRS since 2008 and currently serves as the East Africa Regional Technical Advisor, interned at the Minneapolis-based pro-abortion group Pro-Choice Resources in 2001-2002, according to her LinkedIn page. The group is dedicated to expanding abortion access through programs such as the Hersey Abortion Assistance Fund, which provides “no-interest loans” and “grants” to help poor women pay for abortions.

From 2003-2004 Williams worked at the Sixteenth Street Community Health Center, which offers “the full range of reproductive health services including contraception.”  And from 2004-2005 she worked in STD prevention at the Institute of Women and Ethnic Studies, a national public health organization that advocates for abortion access and links to leading pro-abortion and pro-homosexual groups.

Dr. Pun Sok, CRS’ Health and HIV/AIDS Program Manager in Cambodia, joined the Catholic relief organization in 2008 after years working at CARE. A longtime partner and grant recipient of CRS, CARE has opposed restrictions on abortion and partnered with Marie Stopes International as well as promoted contraceptive initiatives in the Third World.

In 2011, Sok represented CRS on the steering committee of MediCam, an organizing body for Cambodian health NGOs that promotes contraception and abortion. He also joined a discussion of MediCam’s 2011 Position Paper as a member of the steering committee. The paper advocatedexpanded access to abortion and abortifacient contraception.

Notably, CRS’ Board of Directors includes Sister Carol Keehan, president of the Catholic Health Association, who famously defied the U.S. Bishops in 2010 when she endorsed Obama’s health care plan despite the bishops’ judgment that the plan included funding for abortion.

CRS communications director John Rivera did not respond to questions on the organization’s hiring practices by press time. However, on their website CRS explains that it “considers all applicants on the basis of merit without regard to race, national origin, religious beliefs, gender, age, marital status or physical or mental disability.”

WORLD YOUTH DAY 2013!

Out of the darkness has come a great light!

Unity Through an Established Leadership

[Daily I discuss theology with Protestants. This post is compiled from my responses to discussions about unity in Christ.]

Most Protestants claim that since unity of doctrine seems utterly impossible among Christians, that we must take Christ's command to unify as some type of spiritual unity in heart, but not in unity of scriptural interpretation. 

I say, not so, that is not what Christ commanded and the Bible is overwhelmingly against such a notion.

Here I present a few texts (among hundreds) that would help refute this idea that we cannot be doctrinally united. Christ's intent included doctrinal agreement when He commanded unity.

***********

Ephesians 4

Christian unity isn't an option for Christians. It is not something we can put on our spiritual wish list and hope God does a miracle in our lives to suddenly unite us. This is a command by Christ that is just as vital as other moral commands in scripture. 

Because most Christians realize its importantance, we symbolize the meaning of God's words and default to the passive position of "Well, I guess we can unite in love and service because uniting in doctrine and under one head is just.... impossible." 

Is that opinion supported by the Word of God and the testimony of His Apostles? Look at parts of Ephesians 4:1-16---not just specifics but the overall thrust:

Therefore I ...implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. ...

Notice that the unity described here is not an invisible unity. Note also that it does include doctrinal unity.We are to be (not "will hopefully become", or "try to do if possible and keep your personal doctrines of faith") but we are commanded to be unified. 

Walking as Christians means that we are unified! "Be diligent to preserve unity of the Spirit." That doesn't mean have good, loving, gentle feelings about others. That's a good thing, but that is not the unity of the Spirit.

Remember what Christ told his Apostles recorded at the end of the gospel of John when Christ was about to enter the grave? His last plea was for His Apostles to be unified in truth and Jesus promised the Holy Spirit would come and recall to the Apostles minds' all He had taught them from the beginning so that they could be unified in Truth!

The Holy Spirit's unity is not about feelings or an invisible spiritual oneness, it is a real, tangible, doctrinal unity. This unity is to be in the physical body. Christ set up a real Kingdom when He was on earth, not an invisible one. This Kingdom was to be one in both physical body (organization), under one Lord (Christ) with one faith and one baptism. Yes, all this could be rendered symbolic. But if you read on... you will see that it was certainly not. (Verse 11 begins:)

And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.

To make this one body, one faith, one baptism, possible, Jesus gave us leaders--not symbolic, but true, real leaders in a true, real church. It is through these God-appointed leaders that Christians are equipped for living Christianity. Christ gave us church authorities that we can attain the unity of faith.

Notice that it doesn't say that through love we will attain unity, but through leadership--apostles, prophets, evangelists and pastors--it is through this physical, organizational structure God set up that we will attain unity. And of equal importance notice that it is through God-ordained leadership that we will get knowledge of the Son of God and become mature!

Let's read that again to make sure we got it right..... "He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers ... until we all attain... the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man..." And just to be utterly clear that we are speaking of unity in doctrine, St. Paul writes in verse 14--that "as a result" of this leadership:

...we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.

We build ourselves up in love, in unity, in body, in Spirit, in hope and in faith THROUGH God's chosen Apostles and leaders.

**************

Matthew 18: 15-17

If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.....  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 

Here, it would be hard to argue that Jesus is setting up an invisible, spiritual church based on a non-doctrinal unity.

The text describes a Christian who is sinning. How does one know what sin is except for what has been taught through God’s Word? If everybody gets to follow his or her personal convictions or their consciences I think this command would be written differently.

Jesus’ command would have been, “if your brother does something you think is sinful, pray for him, discuss it with him showing him what your interpretation of scripture is. Then allow the Holy Spirit to work in his heart and be at peace, your mutual love for Christ will keep you unified in spirit. Everyone is to tolerate other’s spiritual maturing.” That would be today’s answer.

But Christ did not command us in that fashion. He told us that if we see another brother sin, (this assumes moral agreement among Christians) we are to go to him in private and council him.

The scary part of this is that it is not left up to you to decide if you love him enough in your heart to not offend him in the confrontation. Neither does the command give us Christians the excuse that you are embarrassed, shy, don’t want to get involved. Jesus tells us that we are our brothers keeper quite clearly right here. Just do it. Get involved in your brother Christian’s life. It is your business... Jesus just made it your business.

If your Christian brother doesn’t listen, you are then let off the hook. You’ve done your duty and say "peace, godspeed" to him and go.

No.

That is not what Jesus command says. He says take two or three witnesses back to the person you saw sin and confront him again. Then, if he still refuses to listen.... what are we to do then?

Jesus commands that we take it to the church.

This assumes an established, visible church with leadership. If there is any way around this command being to an organized religion, tell me, because I can’t figure it out. How do you take someone you think is sinning to a group of people who are not organized and have differences of opinions about theology, what sin is,  or even who’s a true Christians?

You can’t take a sinner to a chaos to find repentance.

To establish that the church is the final authority in matters of sin (which is the foundational reason for doctrines--to define faith an morals) Jesus commanded we take the sinner to the established, visible church:

If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Please note that Jesus establishes the church, not scriptures as the final authority.

So later when Paul tells us to be one in Body, one Lord, one Spirit, one faith, one hope and one baptism (part one, Eph. 4) it is under God’s ordained leadership and the religious structure already set up by Christ that Paul tells us that we have unity.

This unity is build upon the rock of Jesus and His established authority. Unity is based upon obedience to that authority and if you see a brother sin you are to go through these steps--the final authority being the established church.

This is a church that is:

• A visible organized church
• A church with clearly established authorities 
• A Church that has agreement on doctrinal issues of sin and morals
• We are obligated to take our brother to that established church if we see him sin 

and ...

Finally, if our Christian brother refuses to listen to the church (rather, he claims he must follow his own conscience) Christians are to treat him as a gentile and tax collector.

We could discuss how Jesus tells us to treat our enemies, but that is another subject. At the very least, Jesus tells us they are no longer a part of His established church nor to be considered a Christian. They are now outsiders and are to be kindly won back to the faith as an outsider who has rejected God’s authority.

These are Jesus’ words. Jesus has an established, visible church. And we are to be obedient to it, for it is the final authority. Under Christ's authority we can be unified.

Cardinal Dolan and His Invitation to President Obama

I react too quickly and make judgement without the full information at times. And I did this time. I signed a petition to the cardinal asking him to disinvite our president to the Al Smith Dinner. I just read the Cardinal's response to the petition at the Catholic Bishops website and I just ate crow. He is right and I am wrong.

I want to publicly apologize because I publicly presented information that was not wrong but incomplete. And sometimes that last piece of the puzzle clears up the picture. I was wrong and I am not crying in sadness but in total delight. I am WRONG, thank God Almighty, I am wrong. The Lord on several occasions has shown me I can trust our bishops and I keep thinking I can't. Must be the Seventh-day Adventist in me somewhere still lurking. Or maybe I shouldn't blame them but my own lack of faith.

There is something wonderful about the Catholic church, confession, forgiveness and reconciliation. I wish I could apologize in person to the Cardinal, but I did write him an email.

THANK you Lord for showing me I was wrong.

Ancient Testimonies Against Abortion

http://blog.adw.org/2012/08/ancient-testimonies-against-abortion/

By: Msgr. Charles Pope

[excerpts]

A couple of years ago a former Speaker of the House, whose name need not be mentioned here at all, showed herself an amateur theologian lacking in even basic knowledge by claiming (on what she called Jesuitical authority) that the Church teaching on abortion was no older than the 1950s. The usually cautious American Bishops lost no time in issuing vigorous correction. And rightly so, of course, as quotes like these will show.

Here then are some of the quotes:

The Didache (“The Teaching of the Twelve Apostles”) ca 110 AD. Thou shalt not murder a child by abortion. (2:2)…The Way of Death is filled with people who are…murderers of children and abortionists of God’s creatures. (5:1-2)

Letter of Barnabas, circa 125: You shall not kill either the fetus by abortion or the new born

Athenagoras the Athenian (To Marcus Aurelius), ca 150 AD: “We say that those women who use drugs to bring on abortion commit murder, and will have to give an account to God for the abortion…, [For we] regard the very fœtus in the womb as a created being, and therefore an object of God’s care… (# 35).

Clement of Alexandria: (circa 150 – 215 AD) Our whole life can go on in observation of the laws of nature, if we gain dominion over our desires from the beginning and if we do not kill, by various means of a perverse art, the human offspring, born according to the designs of divine providence; for these women who, if order to hide their immorality, use abortive drugs which expel the child completely dead, abort at the same time their own human feelings. Paedagogus, 2

Tertullian circa 160-240 AD: For us, we may not destroy even the fetus in the womb, while as yet the human being derives blood from other parts of the body for its sustenance. To hinder a birth is merely a speedier man-killing; nor does it matter when you take away a life that is born, or destroy one that is coming to birth. That is a man which is going to be one: you have the fruit already in the seed. Apology 9:6

Tertullian (circa 160 – 240 AD): …we are not permitted, since murder has been prohibited to us once and for all, even to destroy …the fetus in the womb. It makes no difference whether one destroys a life that has already been born or one that is in the process of birth. Apology (9:7-8)

Tertullian circa 160-240 AD: [John the Baptist and Jesus] were both alive while still in the womb. Elizabeth rejoiced as the infant leaped in her womb; Mary glorifies the Lord because Christ within inspired her. Each mother recognizes her child and is known by her child who is alive, being not merely souls but also spirits. De Aninta 26:4

Hippolytus (circa 170-236 AD): Whence certain women, reputed believers, began to resort to drugs for producing sterility and to gird themselves round, so as to expel what was conceived on account of their not wanting to have a child either by a slave or by any paltry fellow, for the sake of their family and excessive wealth. Behold, into how great impiety that lawless one has proceeded, by inculcating adultery and murder at the same time. From “Refutation of all Heresies” 9:7

Minucius Felix (180 – 225 AD): Some women take medicines to destroy the germ of future life in their own bodies. They commit infanticide before they have given birth to the infant (Octavious (30, 2))

St. Basil the Great (330 – 379 AD): The woman who purposely destroys her unborn child is guilty of murder. With us there is no nice enquiry as to its being formed or unformed. In this case it is not only the being about to be born who is vindicated, but the woman in her attack upon herself; because in most cases women who make such attempts die. The destruction of the embryo is an additional crime, a second murder, at all events if we regard it as done with intent. The punishment, however, of these women should not be for life, but for the term of ten years. And let their treatment depend not on mere lapse of time, but on the character of their repentance. Letter 188:2

St. Ambrose: (339 to 397 AD) The poor expose their children, the rich kill the fruit of their own bodies in the womb, lest their property be divided up, and they destroy their own children in the womb with murderous poisons. and before life has been passed on, it is annihilated. Hexaemeron”, (5, 18, 58)

St. John Chrysostom (circa 340 – 407 AD): Why sow where the ground makes it its care to destroy the fruit? Where there are many efforts at abortion? Where there is murder before the birth? For you do not even let the harlot remain a mere harlot, but make her a murderer also. You see how drunkenness leads to whoredom, whoredom to adultery, adultery to murder; or rather something even worse than murder. For I have no real name to give it, since it does not destroy the thing born but prevents its being born. Why then do you abuse the gift of God and fight with His laws, and follow after what is a curse as if a blessing, and make the place of procreation a chamber for murder, and arm the woman that was given for childbearing unto slaughter? Homily 24 on Romans

St. Jerome (circa 342-420 AD): I cannot bring myself to speak of the many virgins who daily fall and are lost to the bosom of the church, their mother….Some go so far as to take potions, that they may insure barrenness, and thus murder human beings almost before their conception. Some, when they find themselves with child through their sin, use drugs to procure abortion, and when (as often happens) they die with their offspring, they enter the lower world laden with the guilt not only of adultery against Christ but also of suicide and child murder. Letter 22:13

The Synod of Elvira, 306 AD: If a woman becomes pregnant by committing adultery, while her husband is absent, and after the act she destroys the child, it is proper to keep her from communion until death, because she has doubled her crime. Canon 63.

The Synod of Ancyra, 314 AD, Concerning women who commit fornication, and destroy that which they have conceived, or who are employed in making drugs for abortion, a former decree excluded them until the hour of death, and to this some have assented. Nevertheless, being desirous to use somewhat greater lenity, we have ordained that they fulfill ten years [of penance], according to the prescribed degrees. (Canon 21).

Council of Trullo (692 AD): Those who give drugs for procuring abortion, and those who receive poisons to kill the fœtus, are subjected to the penalty of murder. (Canon 91)

Heaven and the Catholic Church

(Sigh)

I always regret being too personal on my blogs, but right now I just want something out there--out there as a document about what I think, in case I get hit by a car. And somehow I am more inspired to write this than do my regular Friday morning paying bills.

(Eye roll--I KNOW this is going to sound sooo prudish and arrogant. I really am NOT.)

But I've been a good girl my whole life. I mean, really really really absolutely trying my best to do what was right. And it was and is difficult to do. Just a little example:

During a fourth grade spelling test, our teacher had to suddenly leave the room and another kid (Duane! the class clown) started spelling the words out loud to everyone. My stomach went sour and I was filled with tension for I thought I was being held hostage to this cheating (even though I plugged my ears so I couldn't hear and didn't change any of my answers).

Oh woe unto me! What to do, what to do!?

I didn't want to be a snitch, but then I couldn't be part of the cheating either. Let me tell you--to a fourth grader this was a purgatorial moment. What was right? I sweated it out....

Later when everyone was at recess I went to the teacher and asked her to give me an F on the spelling test earlier. I told her that I didn't cheat, but that I still wanted an F. (Somehow that just seemed right to my immature little brain.) The teacher insisted on knowing why and I confessed for the kid without giving a name since I also at that time though whistle-blowing to be some kind of sin.

I am not scrupulous, but my life is packed-filled with such incidences. I have turned myself in for almost cheating on many occasions, gone back and apologized for somewhat lying--almost lying--well--having the intension to lie and making up a truthful excuse without being totally truthful.... And because of my conscientiousness--- became the most hated kid in school-- I was such a goody-two-shoes.

There are those who enjoy the role of tattle-tale and goody-goody, but I didn't. I really didn't. I hated myself for it. But I loved Jesus more than I hated myself and so I pushed myself into sacrificing my own popularity to do what is right. And I was relentlessly teased and mocked, made fun of and shunned.

Believe me I didn't always succeed at doing the right thing, but no one ever has tried harder.

The only problem was that I was always unsure what was the right thing. So many of my friends and family didn't behave like me. They just didn't see a big deal in little white lies and little compromises with doing the right thing. I got ulcers over trying to decide what was the right thing to do. Who was I to think I was smarter than my teachers, pastors and parents? This was a very huge burden to bear--always afraid, always unsure that you are making the right decision.

You see in this relativistic culture, nothing was really black and white. What I noticed from early on was that it was about how someone felt--their niceness and sincerity. That was the ultimate in righteousness. How someone felt--their sweetness was what mattered--not what they actually did. It was all VERY confusing to me growing up.

I have spent most of my life in excruciating confusion as to what is right, because I was going to do it... no matter if they persecuted and killed me. I would be one who didn't hurt Jesus. While the world was coming apart at the seams and my friends were cussing and being disrespectful to their parents and listening to rock music and smoking pot--- I WASN'T GOING TO HURT JESUS!

When He looked down and cried, I didn't want it to be over me. I wasn't looking for a pat on the back, or even a star in my crown. I just didn't want to add to the pain all around that I knew God was in heaven crying about. Blending in and disappearing was just fine with me. And doing what was right wasn't heaping pain upon the Cross adding to His sufferings. So, life became all about doing the right thing.

I didn't want to leave my beloved church--the Seventh-day Adventist church--but I did--because it was the right thing.

I didn't want to spearhead the Adventists For Life movement and be labelled rebellious and wave-maker and zealot--but I did it because it was the right thing.

I didn't want to home school my kids--but I did it because it was the right thing.

There were many times I thought I would rather die than stay married and even moments of suicidal temptations, but I stayed married and alive--because it was the right thing!

And it has been a struggle of epic proportions for me. It has at times felt like death. I know hell, I've been through it like so many of you out there.... Life can be hell. And doing the right thing also feels like hell. People don't look at you with pity and tenderness for doing the right thing. They look at you like you are arrogant, prudish, mean, cold.... You are hated. And all you ever really wanted was to NOT cause more pain... for anyone....

Then when people hate you for doing what you think is the right thing, you become even more confused because you are not sure if you are thinking correctly. If EVERYONE out there seems to be pro-choice--even your parents and church and all your church leaders (that was the situation when I started the pro-life organization in the SDA church) what on earth makes you think you alone of all these wonderful people are right? You start wondering if the labels people thrust on you are correct. Maybe you are rebellious on some subconscious level?


Then one day.... I began living happily ever after....

Jesus showed me the Catholic Church.

Besides my kids, there has never been such a breath-taking and overwhelming surprise in my life as the Catholic Church. If we have all been mistaken and misunderstood what heaven is....
If nothing is literally eternal...
If heaven is not an actual place somewhere up in the cosmos...
If all  heaven is--are the few years I have had in the Catholic Church, then that is enough for me.

My only wish is that I can see Jesus for just a few minutes face to face that I may thank Him for the Catholic Church and for allowing me to be a part of it. That is all I desire of heaven.--Just five minutes to fall at His feet and kiss them for letting me join His church. And Jesus, you know that I am speaking absolutely from the deepest part of my heart on this one.

I truly feel as if all I have ever done for Jesus, all I have suffered and sacrificed that I might not cause Him any pain has been rewarded. He has let me, just like Moses, see the Promised land--the Kingdom of Heaven and that is His Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.

I know I didn't earn it--nor do I think I can ever earn heaven. But I think Jesus looked down with pity upon this little confused girl who had tried with all her heart and soul for so long to do what was right and gave her a drink from His fountain of life.

The Catholic Church is the beginning of the Kingdom of Heaven. It is the first step and I don't feel a part of the world anymore. I have seen eternity in her masses and in her dogmas and rituals and rites. This beautiful Bride of Christ has lifted a tiny part of the veil between the seen and unseen and I have glimpsed the rapturous glories of God. I have experienced the bliss, the unfathomable bliss, of submitting to His will and dying to my own. Thank you, thank you Jesus!

Why other Catholics don't see what I see? I just don't know.... I don't understand. All I can say is that I have dedicated my life to understanding more and more and more of Jesus in the Catholic church. I have fasted and prayed and searched and read and absorbed everything I could--watching and listening to ETWN, scouring everything I can from ChurchMilitant.tv, reading every book on Catholicism I can and attending daily mass at every opportunity. I eat, breath, and live Catholicism for in it I have found the miraculous. I have experienced a Christ that I cannot describe for words fail utterly to express His Holiness and majesty.

May I spend all time praising Him, for even if there is no heaven except the Catholic Church here and now, my praise to Jesus through His Bride will echo through eternity and my voice will be immortal. Thank you Jesus for the Paradise of seeing You as You are--with no more confusion.

I am home.

Martyrs Today....