The Bride

My brother, John, was having a hard time being a military brat. He was in one of those pre-teen years that he resented everything our mother was doing. She just couldn’t do anything right in his estimation. 

“Dad wouldn’t have done it that way,” John was always complaining. 

It all really started with a list of chores dad sent to him to do “as man of the house.” After that, anything mom asked him to do that wasn’t on the list John would say she didn’t have the right to add anything to the list. (One of the ones he conveniently left out was that he was supposed to obey his mother, but being immature, he kinda skipped over that one.)

He was always arguing with her. Since dad said that he was supposed to mow the law each Sunday morning, John would throw a fit if mom changed it to Saturday when they had to go to mass earlier than usual. He claimed she couldn’t change dad’s rules. And when she said he had to eat his brussel sprouts he wouldn’t because it wasn’t on the list. Then when she hurt her back and needed John to change the baby for her, he said it wasn’t on the list, so he didn’t do it.

Our house was always in an uproar of debates because of him. 

Sometimes I think it would have been easier if dad hadn’t even written him and given John a list. 

One day he ran away.

You can’t imagine how that hurt my mother. There were six of us kids and she was struggling while dad was gone and at times she would get really cranky. I know she made mistakes. But the things he was calling her, the things he was saying about her, it was as if she had never, ever done anything right. Then, while a neighbor took him in for a while so he could cool off,  John started on our little brothers and sisters trying to get them to run away too.

Then he started saying that dad had been married before and that our mom was really not our real mom and so we didn’t have to obey her. I know it was stupid, but to say that to little kids! They started to believe him. Once I even slapped him for calling our mom a bad name.  

Then, one day dad came home on leave.

John found out and came over. When dad and mom pulled into the driveway, John ran up to dad and started in on mom. He really thought he had done what he should have. He had utterly convinced himself that because mom wasn’t perfect that he didn’t have to obey her. So, he went through a list of all the things she did wrong. He even told dad that he found out mom wasn’t his real mother.

Can you imagine what my dad did? My brother really, truly thought he was going to take his side.

Dad made John go get his stuff and move back in. Then he assembled the whole family in the den and then he told us something I will never forget.

“Do you know what I did in order to win your mother? She was a stubborn one to win over but I worked really hard to get her and she is my prize. When I put the ring on her finger,” and he showed us her beautiful gold band, “I promised her that I would love her always, through bad and good, in sickness and in health, forever. I promised that I would never leave her or forsake her.”

“But you did leave her dad!” My brother said.

“No I didn’t. Yes, I was physically gone, but I talked to your mother each night on the phone and we all sent emails and text messages when I could get them. She was always in my heart. We are one.” All of us kids didn’t know dad and mom had a special date each night on the phone. She would tells us that she had talked but I guess we just didn’t really pay that much attention--we had been too busy with our own young lives.

“When your mother spoke and gave you commands, it was the same as if I had--even if you hadn’t understood them. She was put in charge while I was gone. Even if she wasn’t right all the time, even if she made mistakes and even told you to do some things I would never have told you to do, don’t you know that I would have backed her up? I told you to obey her. If you had loved me, you would have obeyed your mom.”

My brother got into trouble for the way he treated our mom, but everything was forgiven. 

Analogy over.

This is how Catholics look at the church, the Bride, the Body of Christ. She is our mom. Many Protestant apologists give us a litany of all the bad stuff mom has done and claims she isn’t our authentic mother. Some Catholics, who are immature in their faith, will follow their brother out and believe that mom’s sins are so great that dad divorced her and just didn’t clearly tell us in any phone calls or letters (Bible).

Men like James White who spend their time trying to “convert” Catholics into real Biblical Christianity need to realize that the church came first. The Bible is a book of the people, we are not a people of a book. We are a Church. We are a family, a real, genuine family with God as our father and the Church, His Bride. We have been born into or adopted as His children. We are in a family covenant of love and respect.

White's and other anti-Catholics continual airing of our Mother’s past sins and never, ever seeing the beautiful things she did is not doing much for fairness or for the cause of Christ in the world.

You think it is your duty to say the Catholic church is preaching a false gospel because in your estimation she added to scripture or doesn’t correctly interpret it. You think when God handed Peter the keys and told him, “whatsoever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven” and when He went through the passion and crucifixion for His Church and promised that the gates of hell will not prevail against her and that he would never leave her or forsake her and that he would be with her to the end of the age that he is going to divorce or reject her over anything she does?

Please show that to me in the New Testament? Show me where Christ rejects His Bride. It doesn’t happen.

Just as a husband places his wife in charge of the children when he is gone and will back up even her mistakes and misunderstandings, so will God do for His Church, His Bride.

Even if you disagree with the analogy, this is how faithful Catholics see the church, so all your litany of her mistakes only scandalizes the family of God to the world. 

If you want to prove she isn't our mother, that is where you need to spend your time. But you will have to show us Biblically, historically and logically clearly when Christ rejected his Church. Give us a date, an event, something... 

If you can't find a specific event in the Bible which correlates exactly with some historical event in actual time--and prove it, then you need to realize that God's promise to His church is forever. He never did or will forsake her and He is with her to the end of the world.

One Problem with Personal Scriptural Interpretation

Yesterday I heard a Protestant theologian claim that Catholics read scripture anachronistically in that they try and cram their doctrines back into the texts of scripture rather than let scripture speak plainly for itself. As an example he gave some of the Marian dogmas about her perpetual virginity and her sinlessness.

"Come on," the Protestant theologian gave a little good-natured jibe to the Catholic, "you really, honestly think Luke was aware when he recorded the angel calling Mary 'full of grace' that the angel was referring to her sinlessness?" 

This got me to thinking. Did the authors of scripture, even if they were utterly inspired to write down the infallible words of God--did they know what they were writing exactly meant? Were they given the perfect and full understanding of the inspired words? I don't think so. 

Look at the prophet Daniel. There were all kinds of strange dreams and visions that he admits he didn't fully understand. There were layers of meaning for both his own day and for a time when the Messiah would come. The same with King David. Do you think when he wrote, "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" that he knew he was not only writings from the pain of his own heart but that he was also giving a prophecy of what Christ would say at the Cross? Probably not. My guess is that St. John didn't understand all the images he wrote down in the book of Revelation/Apocalypse either. God doesn't give the writer the fullest understanding of scripture. Sometimes it has to develop. 

It hit me like a huge theological anvil dropping from heaven. Only God understands the fullest meaning of His words. We don't. 

Look at the development of Israel's understanding of the Messiah. Moses wrote that a prophet greater than he would arise. Then the prophets wrote of a King taking the throne of David. Some wrote of a suffering servant. Others a military leader. Then very slowly all this combined to get the idea of a Messiah. Then later, a savior and only when He showed up, we found out that He was God with us.

The word of God is infused with many temporal and spiritual dimensions that only He fully understands and reveals bit by bit, bite by bite, century after century. 

If we were able to go back and ask Daniel if he were writing of a Messiah--I don't know what he would say. I am not sure God wants us to read the Bible with the idea that only the understanding of the human writer is what counts. Perhaps the Heavenly Author is the one who understand the fullness of meaning from the alpha to the omega. Perhaps He has some really fabulous plans for those words that the writer never envisioned. 

When God gave the keys of the Kingdom to Peter and began a church, His plan seems to have been to slowly reveal the deepest meanings  of scripture over time--the Trinity, the Divinity of Christ, the canon of scripture, the papacy, even Marian dogmas. If we go back to the scriptures and assume the writers understood the fullness of the huge oak tree just by giving us the tiniest of seeds, we are really missing God's power to reveal His mysteries. 

And if it is possible that the writers of scripture themselves were not given the fullness and deepest meaning of what they were writings, how can we assume that our interpretation can discover the depths and fullness of the scripture? We only know in part, but God knows the end of the story. He is revealing the full meaning of His written words through His church in His time. And our individual attempts at interpreting the meaning of scripture is like saying we know the fullness of the thoughts of God. Let's let Him give the entire and total meaning to scripture through His church, our perception is only the quickest of snapshots in history and will always be lacking. 

Reflections On 28 Years of Marriage

I'm going to do the old, "listen to my wisdom" thing, so if that is going to bother you, read anyway... you still need it!

Twenty-eight years of marriage long? Our great-grandparents would wink at us as if we were just getting started. But according to my calculations-- that is about 140 in today's cultural years. Okay, here goes with the wisdom:

Honestly, how many marriages do you see today that are successful? Not just people living together because of the kids, but people who have been together with grown children who are happy, who have fun-who love to be with each other, who treat each other with kindness and respect. I know one....

My husband and my marriage!

We have three very successful grown children. One worked with President George Bush at the White House and was a political appointee. Two are going to med school and all three are wonderful, noble Christians with extremely high morals. (Successful parenting?... just ask me how!)

Yes, I consider my marriage and my family a great success story. But it didn't come naturally. And I can tell you it didn't come without a lot of struggle and sacrifice. I didn't just allow things to "happen" and hope for the best. I thought and planned about how I was going to be a mother and wife. I planned before I got married!

First, both my husband and I were virgins when we got married. That has saved us an enormous amount of sexual grief and fears. Don't make excuses, don't say we were somehow blessed with libidos that could handle it. Stop. Don't go there. For five years we sweated and took cold showers and prayed and fled temptation. For the year before we got married I had to live in a different STATE to prevent temptation. My mother made all our wedding plans because I had to move back home and get married immediately, to prevent ..... Anyway, we made it a priority and we disciplined ourselves and it was hard, hard, hard insanely hard.

To this day, we are so glad we have never slept with anyone but each other. It is the best gift we could ever give each other. And I can tell you that it took enormous, pain and suffering but with God's grace we remained strong, not perfect, but strong. Thank you God for giving us the grace to give each other this gift.

If you have failed already. Repent. Go to confession and make the commitment starting now. And yes, I do indeed know what exactly what continence feels like after you are used to having regular sex. Don't ask... but I do.... Stop making excuses and make that commitment to stay pure from this moment on until you are legally married. It IS important. You may not think it is now, but just believe me on this one.

And if you are way too late on this one and are already married, perhaps divorced. Take my advice for the next time.

Prepare for marriage. Read good Christian books. Then put them into practice. They may give you the directions but they won't get you up and make you walk down the right road.

When you are married, treat your spouse like a superstar, even when they don't deserve it. Absorb pain without lashing out at them. Keep as a daily mantra and motto: "Treat my spouse BETTER than he/she deserves."

After marriage, don't have anyone of the opposite sex as your confidant and be careful who you complain about your husband to. There are people out there who think divorce is the best option. As a Catholic--you are married for life. Period. Never entertain thoughts of divorce for any reason. I know that is hard, I know it is hard, but it is worth it!!

Never, ever put your spouse down in public. If you just had the fight of your life and you feel like your spouse is the most horrible person who ever lived, if you have to say something in public, say something nice.

It's actually healthy to allow your children to see you fight and reconcile--as long as they don't have to hear it constantly. Kids sense tension between parents and often they might over dramatize it and think the world is coming to an end--so make sure you reconcile where they can see it! But never air dirty laundry in front of them. Always speak positively about marriage and the other parent in front of your children. Admit mistakes but always end with the fact that you and your spouse are good people and are always trying to do better.

One thing men need to realize is that words mean different things to men and women. Begin having the patience to ask your wife what she means by certain words (or even a wife could ask her husband--but he won't naturally know--you gotta coax these things out of a man). Why do certain words have such an emotional context to her (or him)? Words hurt women and you need to listen and understand why.

Men want to fix a woman's problems--women need to learn to gracefully let them. However, women have this curious addition to each and every problem. My suggestion to men is to learn a guaranteed absolute formula to be able to really fix things for your wife. Nothing is ever repaired until your wife's heart is repaired. The emotions (sigh) must be dealt with. Always assume that your wife needs a hug and an emotional reconnection with you after every tiny happening. If you forgot to put the toilet seat back down.... not only does she need you to remember to put the toilet seat down, but she also needs a hug and a kiss about it to. That's the way we were made--sorry men.

Marriage takes courage. Don't keep any secrets. Confess to each other and don't expect that what you say will be received with grace like you are married to a saint. No, the fact that you are going to fight and cry and deal with problems and stick together through thick and thin is what is going to a make you both saints. Fight, fight, fight FOR each other, not with each other. Don't fear confrontation. Learn to fight it out, speak words of repentance, speak words of reconciliation. Seek to understand how your spouse sees a situation. Don't assume they are wrong without really seeing it from their perspective.

Know that it is going to take years and years of refighting the same topics to understand just why you both are having the same argument over and over. Sometimes it takes years to get to the maturity point where we know why we do things. It's okay to cycle through but try to make each cycle of fighting productive and learn more about yourself and each other. When you and your spouse are in their mid forties--you will begin having all these "aha!" moments of self-understanding. Keep talking at least until then...

If you are a Christian. Sorry this is going to hurt, but I can tell you that it is the right thing. Gulp...

Wives submit to your husbands. Do it without complaint. Of all things this will endear you to heaven and you will begin to glow in radiant purity. Pray that all the rage building up inside for suffering from stupid decisions your husband makes will be poured out to Christ for healing, because a man can make some really immature decisions.

And husbands must love your wives. Listen to them and know they are there to keep you from making some very immature decisions. Women are really quite intuitive and bright. They can see things from a totally different way and often can see things you can't. Always try to make your wife's life happier by your decisions. Or if you can't do that... make sure your decision is the right thing, and then try and make her happy some other way.

Daily pray and read scripture together--or even better still go to daily mass. Make God the first priority in your lives and in your marriage. Obey Him... Love Him by keeping His commandments.

Remember that chaos (divorce, strife, adultery, financial ruin) is the default position in life and in marriage. You cannot ever just put life on auto pilot. Always be thinking and putting plans into action to improve your marriage. Just like you have to shave everyday, bathe everyday, exercise everyday, eat everyday to keep your body from turning into chaos-- it is the same with the relationship with your spouse.

And in my opinion, for Christian marriages, this is the most important thing. Learn to absorb hurt. You can do two things when someone hurts you: react in a way that hurt your spouse--that is the most natural reaction. But don't do it. Take the punch and lift it up to Christ as an offering of love. Turning the other cheek is God's miracle to keep a marriage together.

Don't think your marriage will be perfect for the first twenty years--or twenty-five years. Those are the busy, working things out years with kids and business.... But you will have lots of fun, lots of learning, lots of becoming a saint. It is hard work, of course, but you are building a kingdom of Heaven on earth and it is going to only get better and better and better.

Then, when you have sent the kiddos off to college and you can sit down and sip coffee with your spouse in the morning with no distractions, you can look at each other deeply in the eyes and know that you have done something wonderful--something epic and eternal. You and your spouse have created something that is so much more than the sum of its parts. You have fought the odds and have conquered.

I could indeed tell you why my husband should be considered for sainthood. I have watched him grow from a 17 year-old boy to a man of God. I have felt his sweat to do what is right. I have held him close while both of our hearts were breaking. We have had the temptation to divorce and give up. But God's love and grace held us strong and gave us the guts to stand back up when we fell. You too have that same opportunity. NEVER give in to divorce. NEVER give in to hopelessness in marriage. Become a saint. Help your spouse become a saint.

Victory is sweet, very, very sweet and those roses you get for your 28th anniversary?

Let me tell you each bloom tells me that I am loved in a way that no rose ever did when we were first married, or on our tenth anniversary, or even on our twentieth. We know things, he and I. We've survived the trenches together. We have a corporate memory that we have built together. We know things that no one else can possibly know and it is... wonderful.

And to my husband who is at work today taking care of ICU patients--you are God's gift to me. Your love is wrapped up and held tightly in my heart, forever.....

Abortion for Sex Selection Bill....

America is pro-life. The pro-choice defenders are now in the minority.

And yet a HUGE majority of our House representatives voted against a ban on sex-selection abortions last night. Crazy...

If we cannot get any legislation through congress that bans abortion on the basis of sex selection, then I just don't know how we will ever reverse this trend. We no longer have a representative government, we have dictators in DC.

I honestly look at our country and do not recognize it anymore. And I grew up in the crazy 1970's. Back then, though, adults looked at our teenage music preferences, our drug culture and sexual revolution as a temporary blip on the screen and I know they thought we'd grow out of it. And some of us did, just not enough.

Those from my generation:

When you were in seventh-grade could you have imagined a world like this? Where more children are born out of wedlock than in a marriage, divorce, abortion..... Ah (I sigh) because I know there are people who think the general trend is better.... like less violence...

But it's all in your perspective. Our human mortality rate from unnatural death has never been higher. When 20% of our children are being scraped and sucked out of their mother's womb? We've never been this low as a society.

I'm tired..... I'm tired of fighting with a majority of people who believe the way I do and yet we can't get anything done.

My Peace I Leave Thee....

I don't know if it's because I'm now Catholic or what, but when I discuss theology--which is every single day, practically all day, I am just not at all upset with people who disagree with me. It used to make me panic when I was a Protestant because there was just something threatening if others read scripture in another way. And, even more, I was afraid if they didn't rightly believe (which was subconscious code for my way) they were lost.

The all-out GET PEOPLE SAVED through the gospel goal for me was about teaching them to invite Jesus into their hearts and then "whew" another soul saved from the clutches of Satan. But as I look back it was kinda formulaic. Person + Faith = Salvation. So I had to make sure everyone I loved, liked and met was plugged into that so that they didn't go to.... I couldn't even deal with a literal hell.

Now it is so different. I am okay when someone is an atheist. I will tell them how Catholics think and believe, but if they reject it, I just don't worry about them. Calvinists? Okay... so they disagree with my interpretation of scripture. God bless them and see them in heaven. Adventists? Mormons? Buddhists? Moslems? You know... I can love them and when given the opportunity will serve them and explain my faith... but I am not panicked.

Jesus is in control. I have a much more peaceful understanding of God's sovereignty now than I ever did. God has so many ways of saving us through His Son. Ways that are a mystery to us.

Now don't get me started on Catholicism. I am so madly in love with my mother church, getting to be a part of the.... the... the BRIDE of Jesus. I am crazy ecstatic and desire to tell everyone and convince everyone to see the Jesus His Holy Church has shown me. But it is not out of fear for their souls.

Let's face it. Catholicism isn't easy. Jesus' burden may be light but a bunch of Protestants I know want to constantly bombard me with burdens I was not meant to carry and let go with my first communion. As a Catholic, I am dying daily, I pick up my cross and follow Christ each morning. I sacrifice and serve. It is hard. But I am happier than I have ever been in my life. There is such glorious joy after the suffering of love. And Catholicism is teaching me all about the quiet, patient suffering of love.

I have never experienced miracles until I became Catholic. My understanding of scripture and philosophy and humans and history and science has skyrocketed. I swear my IQ has been raised.

But the Devil is the Father of Lies and dark forces are always trying to destroy the face of Christ in His Church. And I know its our, the Catholics fault, in many ways. Who would want to join a church with such a reputation? I didn't!

If this is God's church, and I am convinced it is, then I will be obedient to show her to anyone interested, but I have faith the Holy Spirit will convict those who should be Catholic to come in. Those who don't.... I know He is merciful... He is love... He will judge with both.

All I can say is HALLELUJAH! The Catholic Church is bringing back the Gregorian chants!

Here's a sample:







I was a stupid Protestant.... very liberal. I personally loved classical music and Gregorian chants. My favorite piece of all time is Bach/Gounod's Ave Maria and I was classically trained with a BA in vocal performance. When at home, I would have my personal worship in a veil, with the most exquisite classical music (and Catholic, which I didn't think about at the time). I was ritualistic with my coffee, my Bible readings, my prayers, candles and my....sigh...wonderful music. I created my own little haven of beauty in worship.

Somehow my love for beauty in my home didn't translate at all to my church. I fought the old stick-in-the-mud elders who wanted people to dress nicely, be reverent in church and keep the music from the hymnal and with the organ.

I wanted to open up the church to standing and raising our hands and singing to contemporary Christian pop music. The more drums the better. (I did cringe at the electric guitar, but I was tolerant because--hey, there is no intrinsically right and wrong music--only personal preference.) I could do the one-hand beating on my heart, one in the air to God with a earnest painful look on your face while singing praise songs look as well as any Christian artist. And I meant every pound with enormous sincerity. 

But when I was in charge of children's church and we started singing more and more songs like: "Jesus loves turkeys" (and I am a turkey), I started wondering. Something of substance was missing. I was so, so sincere and so stupid. I was unknowingly teaching hundreds of little souls in my care that church was theirs... it should meet their needs and make them feel happy--even if it was silly nonsense with a moral attached.

As a Protestant, church became more and more about high-energy, emotionally-driven entertainment. Later our family began going to a mega-church with a really amazing "stage" with a Jerusalem backdrop with curtains and high-def TV screens on both sides of the pulpit and theater seating.... It was awesome. They brought in Hollywood "Christians" to talk and sing. We were so Christian-edgy, causal. Yeah.... we were cool.

Now, the Catholic church taught me that church isn't about me and my personal preferences. Worship is about what He expects from us. Now, ironically, I am taken back by God to what was most natural for me-submission, reverence, holiness and humbleness.

I am not sure I am so excited about this new Vatican push for Gregorian chants because I love them or Christ is loving them through me. Either way.... I am so excited.

See below for announcement:

http://chiesa.espresso.repubblica.it/articolo/1350251?eng=y (excerpts).

It is common knowledge that Gregorian chant is not in its finest hour. It has been practically banned everywhere, in spite of the fact that Vatican Council II, in the constitution on the liturgy, reaffirmed its primacy in the clearest of terms:

"The Church acknowledges Gregorian chant as specially suited to the Roman liturgy: therefore, other things being equal, it should be given pride of place in liturgical services."

If Gregorian chant has been banned, it is because of complete amnesia concerning its nature. Its rebirth therefore demands in the first place that it be rediscovered and understood.
*

The conclusion that Ferrer [undersecretary of the congregation for divine worship] drew from this is that a "clear and precise" magisterium in this regard has been given. But it has been widely disobeyed and contradicted. And the blame has in part belonged to the hierarchy of the Church.

The Church spoke – Ferrer noted – but lacked "a concrete intention to have the discipline in effect applied by those who had responsibility in the matter."

So then, in regard to this sin of omission attributable in large part to the congregation for divine worship of which he himself is part, Ferrer has announced that it is being remedied.

And this is being done at the prompting of a recent motu proprio of Benedict XVI, "Quaerit semper" of August 30, 2011.

Ferrer announced that the congregation for divine worship will soon be endowed with an office for liturgical art and music that will finally apply, all over the world, the prescriptions of the Church unheeded until now, the rebirth of Gregorian chant first among them.

Obama and Infanticide

I had to close my eyes through this, so I don't know how graphic it is.... but please be warned...

Faith Alone Beatitudes

Blessed are the poor in works, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are they who have imputed justification, for they will inherit the earth. 

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for faith, for they will be filled.  

Blessed are those without merits, for they will be shown mercy.  

Blessed are the pure in their belief in sola fide, for they will see God. 

Blessed are they that are at peace with their sins, for they will be called sons of God. 

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of hypocrisy when you are covered by grace, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of the Reformation.  Rejoice and be glad, because great is your security in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.